Everyone goes through rough patches in their lives. For me, the past couple months have been a whirlwind of emotions and self-realizations. It’s been a struggle to hang onto this newly invented “me” while I journey through sorting out my emotions. I’m sure you’ve felt that way in your life, too. So what do you do in order to keep afloat? When your heart is pulling you in every direction?

I’ve found that self-care, through self-indulgence, has really helped me. That means that I give myself the permission to try something new without consequence, or buy something out of my comfort zone, or create something that helps express whatever I am feeling. It helps give me the feeling that I am in control of my life, while many of the things affecting me are out of my control.

What do I mean try something without consequence? That means I don’t get hung up on if I should/could do something. If I keep sticking with the same old same old life pattern of doing things, I will never be able to shake myself out of this little hole I am digging for myself. I don’t hold back, and I don’t regret going out of my safe-realm I have created for myself.

What about buying something out of my comfort zone? This is pretty self explanatory. I’ll buy a new outfit, or pieces of a new wardrobe, that normally I would never give a shot. My most recent example of this is buying skirts and color-block tights. I used to only wear sandals, jeans, and some sort of baggy shirt/dress. During a relatively emotional period of my life, I decided to buy some new wardrobe pieces I had never even considered trying. I just didn’t think I could “pull off” those looks. Turns out, I love it!  I also got the most colorful eye palette I could find! I started experimenting with painting my lids in fun, creative ways.  It was amazing how much of a difference I saw in myself. I had more confidence, more energy, and I felt like a new person. That gave me the courage to start BEING a new person.

Create something? How does that help? Just like how musicians express themselves through their music, I’ve found doing something similar has helped me process emotions and thoughts.  One of the ways I do that is through making jewelry. If I am feeling emotionally stunted, or overwhelmed, I will start beading. That piece then becomes something special. When I choose to wear it, I feel like I am literally “wearing my emotions on my sleeve.”  And you know what? It helps to not hide myself and my feelings from the world. Even if no one else knows what that piece means to me, the fact that I do is all that matters. If jewelry making isn’t your thing, try painting, or coloring, or poetry! Don’t worry about it being good or bad. Worry about it being “good” for you.

Couple notes here. While I think self indulgence is a great way to get over an emotional hurdle, like with all things, balance is key. Don’t go on a shopping bender to alleviate your stress (though if you’ve got the money, make sure to take me next time). These are just some examples you can do to help shake yourself out of your rut. Also, there is no shame in getting professional help or counseling. While a new outfit and eye shadow palette are great, it’s no replacement for expert help if you feel your experiences or trauma need it.

Bottom line: Be good to yourself.


Curious about some of the things I mentioned?

I’ve been getting all of my color-block tights and skirts from a cool site called Modcloth.com! Make sure to check out their clearance and ModOutlet sections on their websites.

As for my extremely colorful eyeshadow palette, that would be the James Charles palette. While it’s $39 bucks, it comes with 39 different colors, and usually lasts throughout the day as long as I use it with an eyeshadow primer. You can get it from Ulta Beauty!